8 am: Alarm goes off (yes, I do get up late), push snooze button. Five minutes later screaming erupts from the boys room, followed by pounding on the door, "Mommy he bite me!! Mommy help me! Mommy! Mommy ! Mommy!"
8: 05: Jump out of bed and rush to their room to see the damage..." Mommy he bite me! Can I bite him back?" Me, "No! Stop biting each other please!... Alright Mommy is going to shower real quick so you stay in your room to play for minute." Boys: "NO!!!! NO!!! Pleeeeeaasssee... I need food now!!!" More screaming ensues. Meanwhile my daughter on the other side of the wall has heard all the commotion and decides she need to join in so she starts pounding on the wall and screaming also... Shower postponed.
8:20 am : A mass diaper change, which usually ends with at least one kid being thrown in the shower because of stuck on poop.
8:30 am: Loud cries of, "I'm hungry, I need food, Soooo thirsty Mom, Milk please, No, I don't like cereal," erupt. This is usually followed by various temper tantrums and throwing of food they didn't like, stealing of seats and feeding the dog the parts of breakfast they didn't want.
9:45 am: Still no shower but lots of screaming, oh, yeah I need to let the dog out to pee. The kids follow the dog out to play, only to return a few minutes later complaining about a toy being stolen, etc.
11:00 am: Children covered in mud from head to toe show up at my door and complain about being hungry, who's kids are they? Oh, wait those are mine..."Alright you just had 3 bowels of oatmeal you can wait just a little bit longer for lunch, Mommy is trying to do the laundry and then I will make lunch." "NO! I'm hungry now!"... "well, you can have a little snack" "No, I want a sandwich" "Too bad, I am not making any of those right now." * Child runs off to pout*
11:15 am: *True story* I decide to be productive with my day and make a phone call to the bank...While on hold I realize I haven't seen the boys for a few minutes and go out to investigate... The yard is empty.. I see a glimpse of a child running around in the front yard. "Boys!!!!" They have somehow managed to get the locked and very difficult to open fence gate open and were running around in my front yard. I am pretty sure I lost a couple of years off my life right there. " Look Mom, juice!" They hand me a package from the mailbox,wait the mail...they were in the street getting the mail! *remember to breathe* Five more years down the drain..."Boy's what were you doing! You know you are not supposed to be out front! You could have gotten hit by a car and ended up like a bug in the trash ( this is how we explain death right now)!" "Look Mom we got the mail!" They hand me a second letter, it's my neighbors mail... I think my heart is going to stop... Wait, we are still missing... the dog! Oh, there she is running up and down the street, forget it I am not chasing her around!
11:20 am: I pull myself back together and put the kids in the house and head out front to deal with an unknown mail situation... Good, no mail laying in the street... Mail in mailbox, good... This is not my mail, bad... I quickly sort out my neighbors mail and stick it back in his box (thank goodness he is never home or that would have been embarrassing!) All the while I still have not managed to make it to the shower and so I am still in my pajamas...
11:25 am: I am wondering what the neighbors think of us... the previous people must have been really bad because the guy down the street said we were a great improvement... If only who knew what went on in side this house, never mind, I am pretty sure they have all seen enough in the front yard...
11:30 am: Bloody murder screams coming from the bedroom... here we go again!
I will stop here because my mind went numb after this point and I am not really sure what happened. All I know is all the kids made it to bed safe and sound that evening! And than we repeated the whole thing the next day, except insert new incident instead of the mailbox.
So yeah, I love that I can stay at home with my kids but at the same time it can become so monotonous and frustrating. I would love a lunch break where I actually get to eat lunch, or have time to make a phone call without a kid screaming in my ear and the person on the other end, saying, " Ma'am I can't hear you..." No, duh! That would be because my 3 year old thinks he is about to die because his brother just took his dinosaur!!! But than again I would miss out on those wonderful moments, so I guess I'll stick it out for now!
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